On Monday I was dreaming.

In my dream I had moved in with this family. In the family was an older sister. She was pretty snobby and had her own "room" in the front of the house. Then there was an older brother. He was tall and slim with dark hair, and brown eyes. He was super cute. Then there was the mom. You know the "MILF" from American Pie, or the nail tech from Legally Blonde? That was the mom. Finally there was a little brother.

Anyways I am living in this scary dark house. The mom leaves at some crazy hour to go to work and while she is away I hear the little brother crying from his room. I go in to his room to see what is wrong and I see the older brother being paid by two of his friends. The two friends had paid the older brother for permission to rape the younger brother. I said out loud "What are you doing?".

The older brother pulled me out of the room and lead me back to my room and said "None of your business. You're NOT going to do anything" and he left me in my room. I heard the younger brother cry out again. I started crying. Finally I was like "I can't let this happen" and I ran back to the little brother's room and I kicked the two friends out of the house.

The older brother watched me do this and he said "You're going to regret that". Later on he stole $250 from his mom's room and planted it in mine. He was going to blame me for stealing the money from his mom's room. Luckily I found the money and when the mom got back I returned it to her and explained verything that happened. She said "Oh that sounds like my son. Thanks sweetie".

I was surprised but basically like, whatever. So later on I got home from a date with a really nice guy and the older brother came up to us and kicked him out of the house. Once again I was like "What are you doing?" and he pushed me up against the wall. "I don't want you seeing anybody but me. You're mine now" and he kissed me. I liked him... Then I said "But you're horrible" and as he was walking away he said "You'll love me anyway".

Then I woke up...
 
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"Today, I asked my hip, young secretary about someone I assumed was a rapper because my 15 year old son kept discussing with his friend how much his girlfriend likes this individual. My secretary looked horrified and did not answer. I later found out why. The 'person' I asked about? Dirty Sanchez. FML"

Umm... Two things...

1. The son's girlfriend is a slut.

2. I think Dirty Sanchez is my favorite new rap artist.
 
Th-e-o-ry
1. A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena.

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I suppose the word isn't so weird.

But I was thinking, wouldn't Theory be an adorable name for a little girl?